8:00 am Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
11:30 am Chased cat! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
From a Cat’s Diary
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. B*st*rds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
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